In relationships, I fall in and out of passion so often that my sign of stability is actually just increased gaps between my polarized personalities…
I need you. (swing) I’m fine on my own. (swing) Why aren’t you spending every second with me? (swing) I need some space…
Today I’m on the needy side of the swing.
I want to be showered with compliments and attached at the hip. But since I haven’t seen my boyfriend in over a week (my logical side understands it’s really not that long…), and the best response I pulled out of him while fishing for compliments was “cuz you’re pretty,” I’m having a hard time arguing with the toddler in me that wants to give him the cold shoulder. Cuz that’ll teach ‘im a lesson!…
But God is always working.
Right now He’s teaching me the difference between His love, and a husband’s or boyfriend’s love.
We are all built with a deep desire to be loved unconditionally, and God’s gift of marriage comes pretty close. But there will be times when we want our husband to whisper hours of sweet affirmations of his undying love and commitment…while he just wants to eat, watch the news, and go to sleep.
This is a good thing!
I know it doesn’t feel like it’s good. Believe me, I’m writing this and kicking my feet in a huff. But it is good to crave that perfect love, and it is good to not find it in another person. We can only find it in God.
So, the days when I’m most frustrated and feeling lonely and unloved, and my dear boyfriend doesn’t seem to notice, I have to pause. Step back. And think, have I been praying enough lately?
Whose love am I really craving?
Only God’s love will fill the hole we have inside.
Karianne is the founder of Windmill Ways. She plays the cello professionally and currently works as an Art Director for a charity. Because she loves animated shows and movies, she studies 3D animation and graduated with a BFA with the unfortunate class of 2020. Her dream vacation would be just staying home, but "home" being a glamorous cabin somewhere in the mountains surrounded by forest.
Favorite band: Lord Huron
Favorite book: This Present Darkness
Favorite quote: "Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail." Proverbs 19:20-21 (NLT)
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