Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean–Dead Men Tell No Tales

Every good writer has heard the phrase “show don’t tell.” Yet this concept seems to escape the writers of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean film, Dead Men Tell No Tales. Instead of introducing characters and allowing the viewer to be part of their character-building experiences, they tell us what happened to them and how they feel.

I’ll try not to give any spoilers away, but here are a couple examples. In the first film, we meet Elizabeth Swan as a child on the seas. She meets a pirate boy, and we understand the roots of her fascination for the rest of the film *(and sequels)*. I feel like I know her. However, in the new film, we meet the characters after they are washed up and/or already influenced by their past.

“I was dishonorable, so I left.”
“I want to break my fathers curse.”
“I was an orphan and I want to bring my father honor.”
You get the idea…

Although the acting and special effects are superb, the film lacks character depth over all. Yet the relationship between Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbossa stays true to their history and, in many ways, carries the film.

^{Captain Barbossa and Sparrow’s complicated relationship in the first movie, Curse of the Black Pearl.}Similar to previous films, the pair constantly trip over each other’s tangled webs of betrayal and flattery in Dead Men Tell No Tales. And I love it! However, even their relationship falls flat from the watered-down dialogue that plagues this production.

I suspect that most of the 230 million dollars budget for Dead Men Tell No Tales was spent in animating the constant swirl of dust on Captain Salazar and his crew. Which looks really cool, btw. But I’ve seen movies with a much smaller budget “do” much more.

Similar to Jupiter Ascending, my biggest issue is that Dead Men Tell No Tales actually has too much content for one film. Instead of taking the time to expand the characters’ development, the viewer is hurried along so they can close the final chapter with as much bang and shiny objects they can squeeze into 2 hours and 9 minutes.

So, do I recommend seeing this film? Yeah.

Despite my complaints, I laughed a lot. The bad guy is awesome. And the story is, if nothing else, intriguing. Dead Men Tell No Tales also answers some questions we’ve had since the first film.

• Where did Jack get his compass?
• Why does he like his hat so much?
• Was Sparrow always an unusual guy or did something change him?

Plus, seeing Will and Elizabeth’s son go on his own adventure was like meeting up with an old friend (even though they didn’t give his character the journey he deserves).

Although the film was crammed with plot, the dialogue was flat, and the barrage of circumstances had even my eyes rolling at times, it’s a decent pirate movie.

Report Card: Pirates of the Caribbean–Dead Men Tell No Tales
Characters: C-
Animation/Acting: A-
Plot: C
Overall Score: C+

The film has been out since the end of May, so I’m a little late to review. But I love having discussions about films, what was great, and what can be done to make them better. What inspired me to write this review despite missing the wagon? This review that analyzes worldviews as well as acting and plot.

Do you think I’m being too harsh? =/